Why High-Achieving Women Struggle to Ask for Help (and How to Heal That Wound)
- Robyn Robbins
- Sep 5
- 3 min read
You’ve built a life others admire. You’re the one people depend on. You juggle responsibilities with grace, succeed against the odds, and somehow still manage to show up for everyone else.
But there’s a truth you rarely admit — asking for help feels almost impossible.
For high-achieving women, especially women of color, this isn’t just about pride or ego. It’s about hyper-independence, or dysfunctional independence rooted in emotional trauma and survival. While the world sees strength, what’s really happening is exhaustion, loneliness, and the quiet ache of carrying it all alone.
The Root of Hyper-Independence in High-Achieving Women
Hyper-independence doesn’t appear out of nowhere — it’s often born from pain.
Maybe you grew up in an environment where help wasn’t available.
Maybe you were taught early that vulnerability isn’t safe.
Maybe you learned that asking for support meant being disappointed, dismissed, or shamed.
So you built walls of self-sufficiency. And while they may have protected you in the past, today they’re keeping you from the deep support, love, and freedom your soul craves.
The Silent Toll of Doing It All Alone
At first, being the strong one feels empowering. But over time, hyper-independence turns into a heavy burden:
Emotional exhaustion from constantly showing up for others while ignoring your own needs.
Strained relationships, because people think you’re “fine” when you’re actually overwhelmed.
Disconnection from your softer, feminine energy because you’re always in survival or “fix it” mode.
Loneliness, even when surrounded by people, because no one truly gets to see the real you.
This is not the life you were meant to live. Strength is beautiful, but softness and support are sacred, too.
How to Heal the “Strong One” Wound
Healing hyper-independence isn’t about becoming weak. It’s about allowing yourself to receive the help, love, and care you deserve. Here are some powerful steps to begin:
Challenge the story. Remind yourself: needing support doesn’t make you less capable — it makes you human.
Practice vulnerability in safe spaces. Start small — share your truth with one trusted person.
Reconnect with your emotions. Journaling, therapy, or coaching can help you release suppressed feelings.
Embrace spiritual alignment. Invite God into your need for help; He created us for community, not isolation.
Say yes to support. Whether it’s a helping hand, mentorship, or a healing retreat — give yourself permission to be held.
Your Strength Was Never Meant to Isolate You
Sis, you don’t have to keep carrying the world on your shoulders. Your worth isn’t measured by how much you can endure alone. Healing starts when you allow others in.
You were created to thrive in freedom, softness, and alignment — not to burn out proving your strength.
Your Next Step
If this message hit home, don’t keep it to yourself.
Share this with another strong woman who needs this message — and remind her she deserves
softness, too.
Join us for Soft & Sovereign in Bali. Our Sacred Soul Healing Excursions is a space designed to help high-achieving women break free from perfectionism, release emotional suppression, and finally find peace beyond high-functioning strength. Learn more & Reserve your seat today!
xoxo
Robyn Robbins
The Sacred Life Alchemist
| Helping high-achieving women birth free, soft, fulfilled, and spiritually aligned lives through inner healing and feminine restoration.
Master Life Coach
Comments